Creative Conversation
Everyone sees part of the truth, but no one sees all of it.
Notice if this statement is obvious to you, or challenges you, or both. Notice how often the way you see something seems like the “right” way, or even the “only right” way.
If that occurs fairly often for you, you’re not alone. It’s a pretty normal part of human experience to think that you’re right. The question is whether we are willing and able to keep our minds open to one another and be curious about the part of the truth we each bring.
To truly listen and speak with curiosity—to engage in creative conversation—is an act of leadership. It contributes to our collective evolution. And—creative conversation is not always easy. Being open minded—like all elements of conscious leadership—takes discipline. It’s not hard to find yourself thinking that another’s idea is crazy, naïve, unworkable, or downright dangerous.
When you find yourself in that place, here are some practices to try:
Make space.
Space for more than one right way of seeing things. It’s when we think there’s only one right answer, and we have it, that we close down any hope of creativity in the conversation. Try on the idea of a perspective “winning out” because we agree to choose it, not because it’s “right.”
Acknowledge assumptions and biases.
We all make assumptions and hold biases. The question is whether we are willing and able to acknowledge them and their impact—first to ourselves, and then to others—especially in the middle of a conversation.
Self-critique.
Different from self-criticizing, or self-judging—mull over your own perspective from a place of curiosity, wondering where it came from and what makes sense—or not—about it.
Resist judging.
You may vehemently disagree with someone’s thinking. Can you, at the same time, resist judging the human being as wrong or bad, and see them as worthy of being heard?
Observe the facts.
Facts are provable with the observational tools we have at hand. That said, it was at one time a “fact” that the earth was flat. So while we may not always be able to know the facts with certainty, we can at a very minimum honestly attempt to observe them.
Elevate the conversation.
Ask yourself what impact your words, and your way of listening, are having. Are you helping to build something? Are you contributing to the creativity of the conversation? Or are you tearing it down?
Be intellectually generous
There is an intellectual generosity in being willing to put your idea next to mine, look at them together, and see if something creative comes out of that.
The point, in all these practices, is openness—not agreement. Availability—not acquiescence. The point is not to give up or give over your point of view. You may take a passionate stand for your way of thinking, while still being willing to look for the element of truth in another’s.
Questions to ponder, and if you have a journaling practice, to write about…
What’s something that you have recently felt “right” or “righteous” about? What difference would it make if you were open to another perspective having part of the truth?
What are some ways of communicating that you have discovered “elevate the conversation?”
In a recent argument/discussion, what’s one assumption you were making? What difference would it have made to acknowledge that assumption?
More in the Power Pathways Series…
Creative Conversation is the fifth post in a series exploring twelve “power pathways” — avenues for expressing our power to be the creators and authors of our lives. Read the whole series here →
Here’s the full wheel, connected conceptually and practically to radical responsibility and the four disciplines of conscious leadership – inspiration, integrity, courage, and clarity.
